I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
