i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
