i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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