Its about making memories worth repressing
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
