Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
