sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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