My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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