How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
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