Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
it was like eating out sand paper
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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