I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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