Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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