I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
