I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
he quoted the bible to break up with me
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Randomize
