Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize