Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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