So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
