Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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