theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
