I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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