we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
