he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
