He is like the real live version of the state fair..
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
