And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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