and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
It's blow job season.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
