I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
