I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
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