shes about as inviting as chlamydia
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
