After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
