My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
