Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Randomize
