roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Randomize