So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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