my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
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