it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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