I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
