Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
we made out on top of his cat.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
