we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Be still, my beating vagina.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
