you mean i was at the winter classic?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
