its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Randomize
