You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
