The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
