I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
