Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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