Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
