Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
