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• (313): View more from Michigan

  Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have

  (1-313): View more from Michigan

  None he's f-d

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  My bottle opener just broke off in the cork

  (248): View more from Michigan

  They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts

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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.

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• (845): View more from New York

  Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.

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• (269): View more from Michigan

  You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous

  (269): View more from Michigan

  If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb

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• (810): View more from Michigan

  was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?

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• (562): View more from California

  I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?

  (309): View more from Illinois

  probably

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.

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• (985): View more from Louisiana

  Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.

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• (360): View more from Washington

  Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.

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• (587): View more from Alberta

  How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum

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• (516): View more from New York

  shit i just threw up on a freshman

  (1-516): View more from New York

  i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..

  (516): View more from New York

  nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.

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