what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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