i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
