when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Ambien. No doubt about it.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize