I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
