Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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