no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
