I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize