I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
