Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
