I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
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