Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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