Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Randomize
