so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
