I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
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