took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
