At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize