no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
the liver wants what the liver wants
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
