dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Ladies don't puke and tell
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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