If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
