Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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