ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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