Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
