After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
