I'm jealous of your bromance
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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