Betty ford says i'm here all night
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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