i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
