The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
