is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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