if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
