doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
