I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
