I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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